Grocery Shopping: The Never Ending Battle


For those of you who know me well enough, you’ll know that I hate grocery shopping. I don’t even have to be shopping for healthy food, I hate it all the same.

In fact I would be more likely to get into a fight in a grocery store than a bar fight. That’s right, I’m taking that snooty old lady down if she hits me with her cart one more time. One. More. Time.

And if people aren’t trying to run you over, they’re standing as inconveniently in your way as possible. There should literally be a sport called aisle blocking, because these assholes have some serious talent. They’re also pro at tuning out the outside world, because it is almost impossible to get their attention. There have been times that I have forsaken ingredients, just to avoid this exact situation.

One of my personal grocery store talents is always (and I mean ALWAYS) picking the damn cart with the wheel that sounds like Shelley Duvall screaming in the bathroom scene of The Shining. This typically leads to me never using a cart and then trying to hold an absurd amount of things in my hands and looking more disheveled coming out of the grocery store than when I come out of the gym.

Don’t even get me started on my inability to write a comprehensive grocery list, let alone remember to actually bring it with me to the store. And on that note, people who have mastered the art of categorizing their lists by section of the store make me sick. How do you do it? Do you seriously spend that much time in the store that you just magically know where everything is?

I’m assuming you have all been to a grocery store, I probably don’t even need to touch on the sudden shortage of cashiers every time me and 500 other people are ready to check out.

Also I fully believe in my ability to carry in all 50 bags of groceries at once, even if my fingers are turning purple and about to fall off.

I have yet to figure out a strategy that makes grocery shopping less painful, and not for the lack of trying either. It doesn’t seem to matter what time of day I go, what direction I go through the store, how many good deeds I’ve done that week, or how much I’ve practiced my people dodging skills. (50 points for dodging tiny humans, those things are like heat seeking missiles). There is always someone or something there to make everything as difficult as possible.

But alas, until the future comes and our groceries are dropped off by drones or alien spaceships every week. We are at the mercy of the grocery stores and our other earthly inhabitants.

Starting this healthy living journey again has given me the opportunity to do a lot of research in the things I should be eating, the things I should be buying, and where I should be buying things from. And while I haven’t exactly gotten on board with a whole lot yet, I’m slowly working my way towards there. This has made me a little more conscientious about the things that I’m buying and where I’m buying them from.

As it turns out healthy eating habits can be expensive. Which is why it’s even more important to think about what you’re buying. While I have been more inclined to fill my cart (or arms) up with lots of fresh produce, is it realistic for me to expect to make it through all of it before it goes bad? As much as I am gaining a new appreciation for fruits and veggies, probably not. And there is nothing worse than opening your fridge one morning to find a good veggie gone bad wafting it’s stank at you and making eye contact.

When you buy processed “food” that shit will last you through a nuclear war. On average I have found that most perishable items will last maybe all of a week. And sometimes it seriously just depends on where you buy it from. For me I avoid buying produce at my local Walmart, it seems to wilt faster than anywhere else. I’m starting to get the hang of shopping at Sprouts on Wednesdays for the double deals, but there I deal with a whole new type of grocery store villain: organic soccer moms. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a soccer mom or buying organic, but maybe they could put their nose down long enough to pay attention to where they are going and realize there are other people also trying to make healthy choices.

The more I spend time doing research, the more I find myself reading other health blogs too. These come from all kinds of people. Some just starting their journeys looking for accountability like me, others in the middle, and even more on the end and working on maintaining their weight. I have started exploring other dietary lifestyles including vegan and vegetarian, and have decided to try to incorporate some of these recipes and aspect into my own lifestyle.

The reality of what I have found is that there is an overwhelming amount of information out there, and a lot of it can be contradicting at times. There are plenty of people out there that think they know what’s best for everyone, and I’m not convinced there is a “best” for everyone. I truly think there’s a lot to be said about trying different things and finding something that will work. At this point I’m not sure I could stick to a single, specific dietary lifestyle, but I think introducing lots of them into my own lifestyle could give me a plethora of different healthy recipes to work with and I think variety is key.

I think as long as there is some sound scientific evidence behind it, anything is worth trying. I’m challenging myself to continue trying new things including stepping out of my food comfort zone and continuing to research and sort through all the information out there. For those of you who have been curious about a certain dietary lifestyle, I encourage you to check it out and try some recipes from it, step out of your comfort zone. And in that try visiting some different stores that may be outside your normal too, you never know what new things you can find to try.

Someone pointed out to me that I include an apology at the end of all my blog posts so far. So sticking to that, I’m sorry that Tuesday is coming on a Wednesday this week I was too lazy to finish anything to post yesterday. Also I’m sorry for all the mean things I may have said while grocery shopping.


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