When Death Pays A Visit

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I woke up Saturday morning and I could feel it in my throat…

I could feel it in my throat, my chest, my face, and my head.

Death had come for me.

I usually try to wake up with positive thoughts, but this particular morning there was only one fitting word that came to mind: Fuck!

I don’t get sick very often, but apparently my karma for when I do is to be as sick as possible without being dead. Thanks immune system, you da best…well…until you’re not.

I came down with a bad head cold/chest cold/sinus infection mix. I got the whole package all in one, and it hit with no warning.

As I’m sure you can imagine this is totally conducive to eating healthy and exercising. Everything is going great. End of Blog.

Let’s be realistic here…this is the worst thing that could happen in the midst of changing my lifestyle. Okay maybe not THE worst, but it’s definitely up there.

Unfortunately it’s not recommended to exercise when it’s moved into your chest. Which I can understand since it’s hard enough to breathe doing absolutely nothing let alone anything strenuous. I never thought I’d be saying this, but as a reformed couch potato, having my exercise regiment come to a screeching halt is destroying my soul.

I know eventually I will get over this and be able to get back to doing things, but every time I stop exercising it makes it that much harder to jump back into it. Even if it’s only been a week.

Not only that but running or doing HIIT workouts is an awesome stress reliever and helps me work out my frustrations from the day. So what am I supposed to do when I’m sick? Sit alone with my feelings?!

Apart from not being able to exercise, there’s of course the question of diet. Or in my case, the lack thereof. The first few days, I had pretty much zero desire to eat anything. I did manage to make myself eat soup, regardless of whether I wanted it or not the heat was soothing on my throat.

By the time I dragged myself to urgent care on Monday afternoon, I had apparently managed to lose another few pounds from my last weigh in. Sure not eating helps you lose weight, but it’s not healthy. And I gained those few pounds back as soon as my appetite returned along with my craving for comfort foods.

You know what comfort foods are made of?

Our problems.

And you know what happens when we eat our problems?

We get fat.

Ok so maybe it doesn’t happen THAT fast, but when your comfort foods are full of carbs and sugar it’s not going to do you any favors.

Now fortunately after ridding my house of most things, I really didn’t have a whole lot to make said comfort foods. But what little I did, I did.

I think perhaps I’m on the mend, slowly, so hopefully it speeds up real soon. Real soon. But this afternoon I was compiling some more recipes for future meal prep, and I had a moment of feeling shitty. Not just because I was sick, but because I felt like everything I had been working on up to this point had gone out the window.

What is it about being sick that makes shit hit the fan. Is it this sense that I’m fighting to stay alive right now, and I can only focus on one thing at a time. Or wanting to go back to the days when my mom would take care of me when I was sick, because it’s no fun when you live alone and you haven’t trained your circus cats to bring you shit yet…yet.

I started thinking about why I was making myself feel even worse despite that I was really feeling bad enough. I get that all of us want to be perfect and stick to being good all the time, but sometimes it’s just not realistic. I realized I was beating myself up over something stupid.

I may have made some poor choices in what I put in my mouth this week, especially given that I haven’t been able to exercise. But the important thing I needed to realize is that I haven’t ruined anything.

So I had a bad week. It happens. I need to cut myself some slack. When your body isn’t at it’s best, it’s hard to be at your best.

I think what’s truly important is that I recognize it and realize that this wont continue on. Now I need to start working my way back into everything I was doing before and continuing on more. Sustainability is what I want, and sometimes that means being bad for a bit and then getting back on track.

I think the moral of this story, is to not beat yourself up over minor setbacks. And above all else, take care of your body, especially when it’s not at 100%.

And maybe that means eating ice cream for dinner every once in awhile when your throat is sore.

 

I’m sorry there was no Try It Thursday this week, I know how much you’re all enjoying me trying weird shit.

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