You know those times when your mother told you if you didn’t have anything nice to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all?
Well I ain’t got nothing nice to say, and I’m going to say it anyway.
Fortunately, I’m not talking about people. That’s not what this blog is about. I’m talking about…
I HATE Cottage Cheese.
Just how much do I hate cottage cheese?
Every time someone suggests this as a good go to food especially as a snack, I have to wonder if I should call satan and let him know that one of his demons crawled out from the depths of hell.
But seriously, there are few things that make my stomach churn more than cottage cheese.
If you have ever accidentally drank curdled milk, maybe you can identify with this. For those who have never experienced it, that is exactly what the consistency of cottage cheese is.
To me it’s also always had a weird sour smell to it, not as bad as curdled milk, but it’s still there. The smell alone is enough to make me start to gag.
Even if I was able to get it into my mouth without losing the contents of my stomach, the thought of then adding fruit or other sweet flavors makes me want to scream. Having tasted it before, I don’t understand where this thought process comes from.
I cannot make my mind perceive cottage cheese as anything other than curdled milk. It doesn’t matter that I know it’s not, my mouth still doesn’t want anything to do with it.
My typical responses to people offering me cottage cheese: No. No Thank You. Nope. Never. And the occasional Not Today Satan!
So after having said all that what if I told you that today I managed to eat cottage cheese without throwing up?
When a friend suggested I try this recipe, I thought she was straight up insane. Like you have to be f’ing kidding me if you think this is happening. But after hearing her out, I decided to give it a try.
I’ve included the recipe below, I’m not totally sure where she got it but I believe it came from pinterest. If I find out, I’ll go ahead an update this to give credit where it’s due.
Really since all the ingredients and direction are below, I figured it’s better not to totally reiterate it throughout the post. Basically you take all of the ingredients and blend them in groups and then combine them in a bowl to make what looks like normal pancake batter. Yes, even the curdled nonsense. *shudders*
And then after some magic cooking skills, you get warm fluffy pancakes! Believe it or not, they actually weren’t bad. And you couldn’t even taste the cottage cheese. I’m sure there’s some valid reason for why you need it in the recipe, but I’m just thrilled there wasn’t even so much as a sliver of evidence that it was in there.
I topped the pancakes with just syrup like I normally do, I would imagine they would taste good with any kind of toppings you enjoy on pancakes. I will probably experiment with fruit in the future.
If you want to make sure your experience with making them is exactly like mine, I thought I would provide some pointers to follow along with the recipe:
- Grab onion powder and almost pour that into your batter instead of cinnamon because you’re simultaneously yelling at your cat to stop eating your plant for the umpteenth time.
- Gag upon opening cottage cheese container, then convince yourself you don’t need to breathe until it’s closed again.
- Accidentally get some cottage cheese on your hand, die a little inside.
- Forget the eggs until the last minute even though they’re sitting right in front of you.
- Get distracted by adorable gremlin in laundry basket, burn pancake.
- Take picture of only your perfect pancakes and let all your readers know your life is a lie.
That’s it, that’s all there is to it. This is probably the only thing I’ve tried so far that I would recommend. So there’s that.
Also this week I made Vegan Blueberry Muffins:
I’m now convinced that if the batter is delicious, there is no possible way whatever it makes could not be delicious. And the best part about vegan baking is that I can lick all the batter I want because there’s no raw eggs with their nasty salmonella germs.
While not the healthiest recipe, it’s still fairly decent. I plan to modify it with my own twist to make it a little bit healthier and I will post that recipe in the future. However if you want the original recipe, it can be found here -> MERFFINS
I still think cottage cheese is the absolute worst, but I guess if you can hide it completely in something it doesn’t bother me.
And remember, you’re all precious pancakes.